Parenting and Family Education

Archive for July, 2009

It’s time to learn what the birds and bees already know: Getting pregnant can take a little effort. There are some tips and tricks that can help a healthy, fertile couple’s chances for conception increase. Trying them can, in some cases, help speed along the process or at least hedge the bets in favor of a healthy pregnancy once the goal has been achieved.

Stop birth control. If the desire is to get pregnant, this is a must. To clean out the system from hormonal medications before trying to conceive, consider using an alternative means of control during the first one to three cycles.

Treat yourself like you are pregnant. While it might take a little time to conceive, one of the best ways to ensure a healthy start is to begin early. This means cutting out smoking, drinking and caffeine in advance of conception and even starting on folic acid early to lessen the chances of birth defects down the road.

Prepare your body by getting into shape. While there’s no guarantee for conception and no way to determine the outcome once it has happened, healthy women tend to have healthy babies. With this in mind, it’s not a bad idea to get weight into check and other health issues addressed beforehand. There are some studies that show women who are under or overweight have a harder time conceiving.

Time ovulation. Getting pregnant absolutely requires good timing. To ensure having sex during the right time of the month, there are ovulation calendars, ovulation predictor kits and more to help. In general, the egg is released on the 12th to 16th day of a cycle, but this isn’t always the right window in every woman. Learning to track ovulation can greatly increase chances for having sex on the right days and actually successfully fertilizing an egg.

Positions can help. This sometimes falls in the myth category, but there are experts who believe positions that offer the deepest penetration during sex can help ensure sperm is deposited as close to the cervix as possible. The suggested positions here include man on top, or missionary, and the man behind with both facing in the same direction.

In brief. Men can help in the process by getting rid of constricting pants and underwear. Boxers tend to be better for allowing sperm counts to rise, which can increase chances for conception.

If you have difficulty dealing with your children, you are not alone. Many parents seem to be quite at loss when it comes to enforcing good behavior in their children. Research has shown that some parenting styles definitely do not work. Read on to learn how you can avoid the most common parenting mistakes:

#1: Don’t punish harshly. Professor of Sociology, University of New Hampshire, Murray Straus, estimates that 90 percent of parents do not think it wrong to beat children. However, researchers studying child behavior insist that punishing children too harshly is a big parenting mistake. Discipline, they say, is effective only when it is mild. For instance, “time out” should not be for more than a few minutes, and privilege withdrawal should not be extended for more than a day.

#2: Don’t nag. If you think that constant nagging will get your kids to do as you want them to, think again. Research has proven that people tend to ignore repetitive commands. Not only that, nagging also negatively reinforces wrong behavior.

#3: Don’t compromise. If you make rules, be ready to enforce them. Nobody expects that you set military standards for discipline for your children, but let them know that a “no” means “no.” When your kids learn that you will not give in to their tantrums, they will simply stop throwing them.

#4: Don’t overprotect. While it is your duty to protect your children, it is also important to let them learn from their mistakes. As psychologist and Raising Resilient Children co-author, Robert Brooks explains, “Resilient children realize that sometimes they will fail, make mistakes, have setbacks. They will attempt to learn from them.”

#5: Don’t over-praise. An important aspect of parenting is to praise children for exemplary behavior. However, if you habitually applaud every thing they do, you may end up undermining the effectiveness of praise as a form of positive reinforcement. This is because your children may not understand why you are praising them, or may even overestimate their own worth.

#6: Don’t stress grades. Academics are important for your children, but a common parenting mistake is to stress grades over creativity. Psychiatrist and author of Great Kids, Stanley Greenspan points out that while parents make children learn rules and facts, it is more difficult to get them to think creatively. Creativity, however, is essential to help children to discard ideas that don’t work and look for alternative solutions.

#7: Don’t disregard feelings. Myrna Shure, author of Raising a Thinking Child, says that children need to be able to examine their feelings about things. One of the most common mistakes parents make is disregard their children’s feelings-by telling them not to cry, for instance. A better approach is to show empathy by letting children know that you understand how they feel. Your parenting styles are likely to impact the way your child grows up. Being responsive to your children, and at the same time, setting clear rules and limits, is crucial for you as a parent.

As the springtime sunshine finally pours through your windows, you can’t help cringing as you notice the streaks and grime on the glass that weren’t visible before. And as you take a closer look around, you see that the rest of your home is living proof that your family has been trapped inside during the cold winter months. The prolonged furnace blasting has caused the dust to settle – on the furniture, along the edges of the carpeting, and on the blinds. Clutter is at an all-time high. Even the dog seems to be in desperate need of a bath.

Yep, it’s time to haul out the rags, scrubbies and cleaners and get to work.

As you dive in to your spring cleaning this year, here are a few tips that may help.

? One room at a time. Spring cleaning can be an overwhelming project, especially if you try doing everything at once. Breaking it up over a week or two is often a good idea. By concentrating on one room per day, not only will you feel a sense of accomplishment when you see the results at the end of each day, but your stress meter is more likely to remain on “low.”

? Crank it up. Studies have shown that we accomplish more when music is playing, particularly loudly. Music gets our blood flowing and energy pumping and is also a great distraction to the nastiness of the task at hand. So crank up that radio and whistle while you work!

? Time Share. Do you love to vacuum and have a friend who doesn’t mind doing windows? Why not do a switcheroo and swap homes for an afternoon? You can each do the other’s “dirty work” and not have to do those things you can’t stand. Or, double up and work on one home this week, the other one, next.

? Get the family involved. Hey, they helped to make the mess, they should help clean it. Put the younger kids to work wiping down walls and baseboards. The older children can clean out the garage or give your car a thorough springtime cleaning. That way, you can concentrate on those areas you’d prefer to do yourself.

? Bring out the bins. Three, to be exact. Label them: Put Away, Give Away, and Throw Away. As you go through each closet and cupboard, toss items in the appropriate bins. It’s as simple as that!

? Utilize those classic cleaners. Baking soda: Scrub away grime in your kitchen and bathroom sink and sprinkle a little on carpets and let set overnight to eliminate musty odors. White Vinegar: Use straight vinegar in toilets to remove stains and stubborn rings or dilute and use on windows, tubs, and appliances. Lemon Juice: Great for copper pots, silverware, and tile grout.

? Have a party. Just can’t get motivated to start cleaning? Invite a few friends over for dinner. There’s nothing that makes us grab the rags and get to work faster than knowing company is coming.

Although it’s tempting to put it off, the sooner you start this somewhat overwhelming yet often necessary project, the sooner you will get to sit back and enjoy the benefits of a sparking clean home.