Parenting and Family Education

Posts Tagged ‘Advice’

Parenting is the toughest, most important job most people will ever encounter and yet there is no license required, no training required, and no 24/7 hotline. This is rather short-sighted on the part of society as the cost of bad parenting is immense, but in truth the situation is not as dire as it seems. While no training is required for new parents, it is very easy for parents to learn the ways and means of good parents as well as the traps and pitfalls of bad parents. All it takes for parents to learn more about parenting is to watch, listen, and learn.

Watching is a key element to learning more about parenting. Watch the parents around you and you can learn all sorts of lessons about how to interact with your child, how to discipline your child, and how to teach your child. Almost everywhere you take your child there will be other parents and their children. Watching means observing but also listening. Hear the tone of voice as well as the words those parents use. Some parents use the right words but their tone and physical manner contradicts those words. Watch the children to note their response. Some children respond more readily to their parents. Why? What is different about that parent-child relationship? What can you take away for your own parent-child relationship?

Listen to advice. You don’t need to take every piece of advice that is offered to you. After all, there are many people who are free with advice and yet have clearly demonstrated they are in no position to offer it. However, there is often some really good advice shared by people you know and trust as well as good advice offered by passing strangers in the supermarket checkout line or in the stands at a soccer game. Be a sponge. Keep your ears open. You don’t have to take that advice but keeping your options open gives you the chance to sort out the jewels and benefit from them.

Be an active learner. Seek out information when you face a parenting challenge. Perhaps your child is acting out in a new way and your old discipline technique isn’t working. Search the internet, flip through parenting books, and ask some experts in your circle of friends. Sometimes great advice will come to you but other times you will need to seek it out. The more proactive you are about finding solutions to your parenting problems then the better parent you will become.

Parenting is a challenging job, no question about it, but it also comes with wonderful built-in rewards. Some times parents are forced to take a tough unpopular stand but in the end good parenting comes with its own rewards. Those rewards include a happy, successful child and a warm, loving relationship that will extend long past childhood and span the rest of your life. So who needs special training. If you watch, listen, and learn then you can be the parent you want to be and your child deserves.

Parenting is one of the boons bestowed on not all. And ironically, the value of ‘parenting’ is better known by those who aren’t gifted with it. Of late, there have been a myriad of parenting concepts making its way through the dinner table talks to the articles in magazines. Out of the lot, one very commonly heard of concept is that of ‘positive parenting’.

Positive parenting

Positive parenting is a concept that stresses on encouraging kids for their accomplishments rather than just punishing them for their not-so-worthy acts. The concept utilizes the natural human tendency! Wouldn’t you want your good work to be recognized in your work place? Wouldn’t you feel motivated if you were appreciated for your good work and were rewarded with some sort of memento? It’s the similar case with your little sweethearts. They too love it when you appreciate their accomplishments and they get motivated to do such works every time.

Positive parenting ideas

One of the most effective of the positive parenting ideas is the kids reward system. Now, make sure the reward is actually something that your kid loves to the core and has desired it since long. There’s no point in gifting your kid with something he or she is less interested in. So, let’s summarize the entire process of this positive parenting idea:

Set a goal for your kid. Tell your kid that on the accomplishment of the task (it can be anything like cleaning up the room, completion of homework, doing some projects, learning a new instrument and so on) there would be a reward ‘X’. Make sure the ‘X’ is something your kid wants, that way, the reward is a coveted one now.

It’s quite obvious that on the accomplishment of the task you would be rewarding your kid, but make sure you reward the kid for a good try even though the task isn’t accomplished.

For more of positive parenting ideas going online would be a feasible idea.

Parenting is something that has to be experienced to be understood. Parenting advice may be ample, but they have to be modified to suit each case. After all, your child is special and unique.

Parenting is a non-stop occupation. You never know when the next question or crisis will arise, so it’s a good idea to have some handy resources at the ready.

When we’re new parents, the first source we typically call upon is our parents, right? They raised us after all, and we turned out pretty well, didn’t we? But when considering the advice you get from your parents, remember that they might not be especially objective. Truth is, you might not be objective about them and their advice either. That, in fact, can make your parents one of the worst potential sources of parenting advice, because both sides are seeing things from what may be a less-than-objective point of view.

Next in line, we typically turn to our best friends and fellow parents, as well as professionals (family doctor, teachers, clergy, etc.). But these may not be the best resources for parenting advice either. Why? Because we may be looking at our relationship with them (especially our best friends) just as we did with our parents. We respect the relationship, or the title in the case of professionals, and, therefore, we may tend to automatically give credence to advice from these sources.

So, instead of automatically seeking and accepting advice from these traditional sources, here’s what I suggest doing:

First, when seeking advice on parenting from anyone, examine that person’s experience with children as well as with the particular issue on which you’re seeking advice.

Next, examine how that person relates to children, interacts with children, communicates with children, and what sort of value system that person has regarding the parenting of children. If it’s similar to your own, that’s a good foundation.

You might also seek out specialists (therapists, counsellors, etc.) and, if this is the case, you must again apply these same criteria:
- Is the professional/specialist honest, yet tactful with you and your children?
- Is the specialist objective, yet caring?
- Does the specialist have experience as a parent, or with your particular child’s issues?

And what about school-related issues? If you take your problem to a teacher or school counsellor, consider that you may be revealing more about your child or your family than you should. While I wouldn’t necessarily rule out such discussions or resource professionals, just keep in mind that you don’t want to bias a teacher in any way against your.

We all need parenting help and advice at some point. Just remember to do your homework on any source (i.e., consider and weigh the source), and proceed with caution and your own best judgment before leaping to accept any advice.