Parenting and Family Education

Posts Tagged ‘Christian’

“Restless in bed and sleepless through the night, I longed for my lover.

I wanted him desperately. His absence was painful…”- – Song of Solomon 3:1 (The Message)

Believe it or not, this verse describes the heart’s desire for a lot of new moms. Yet, as her husband you may be wondering if you and your spouse will ever engage in a healthy sexual relationship again. You really want to enjoy some time together as a couple, but are you uncertain how to approach her, especially since the baby was born? Here are some tips that any new mom would appreciate her husband taking into consideration:

1. Timing

Too often the joke is that sex slows down after marriage, and then completely stops after having children – as if women are no longer interested in sex after the children are born. What a raw deal! Most women enjoy healthy sexual relationships, but as a new mom she may need more understanding from you regarding timing and frequency.

Husband Tip: Be sensitive to the timing of her delivery. Physical healing after delivery is necessary to avoid further medical issues. Also, she may need some time for the emotional adjustment that comes with caring for a newborn – especially if there is more than child at home.

2. There is more to sex than just intercourse

For most women, sex is experiential, not just physical. In addition, the experiential part of sex starts long before the physical encounter. It is the emotional connection that that we are after, not just the physical pleasure.

Husband Tip: Be intentional about talking to your wife throughout the day. Start in the morning – that is if she is awake! Follow up perhaps throughout the day with a phone call to see how her day is going. Perhaps try and meet her for lunch. Keep in mind the simplest things can mean the most.

3. The biggest turn on that doesn’t cost a cent

Want to know something that you can do that can be a huge turn on to your wife that will not cost you a dime? Two words: help her. A lot of new moms feel like they need to do everything well – keep the house, meet all the needs of the baby and her family and work full time. It can mean the world to a new mom, when her spouse offers to help her out without having to be asked.

Husband Tip: Find something that your wife does not enjoy, or really needs help with and start doing it. Does she like waking up to a clean kitchen? Why not do the dishes? If you are really stuck on some ideas of what to do, why not ask her?

4. Physical appearance

For a new mom, physical appearance can be very sensitive. Often, it can take a while to lose any excessive weight gained from pregnancy. In a culture that tends to place a lot of emphasis on appearance, a new mom can be left feeling discouraged. As her husband, you can play significant role in her self esteem by providing verbal affirmation.

Husband Tip: Be observant of the strides that she is making to both lose weight, and express them. Also be intentional on how you can affirm her inner beauty not just her external looks. If you are afraid you may forget, then write down I Thessalonians 5:14 somewhere you will see it to remind you.

5. We need time away….without the kids

Often, a new mom can feel like she is in a whirlwind of new activity. Or you as her spouse may be feeling, often as she does, that your relational closeness is slipping away. Couples need time to focus on one another without being distracted with parenting. Stronger marital relationship makes for better parenting.

Husband Tip: Plan a weekend or overnight get away for you and your spouse alone. If you must take the baby with you because of breastfeeding, then still plan a special day where you can have some fun together alone.

Parenting a newborn can bring a shock to any marital relationship. It requires a lot of physical time and emotional energy from a new mom. As her husband, there are simple things you can do that will are meaningful and motivating to rekindle your marital relationship.

Marriage is an institution as old as the human race itself. It started in the Garden of Eden with our first parents. God blessed Adam and Eve: “Increase and multiply and fill the earth” (Gen. 1:28); and God’s fundamental laws with regard to marriage are well expressed by Adam: “Wherefore, a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).
Thus, marriage can be defined as a life long union between a man and a woman who are lawfully capable of giving irrevocably to each other the right to acts necessary for the generation and education of children, mutually obliging themselves to a common way of life in order to work out their eternal salvation. Among the baptized, every true marriage is, in itself and by itself, a sacrament instituted by Christ to produce grace.
The most essential factor in marriage, of course, is the contract. A contract is an agreement between two parties, each assenting to give something to the other or to do something for the other for a definite length of time. There cannot be a contract without the free consent of both parties.
There are six obstacles to consent.
1. Lack of the use of reason, infants, the seriously mentally ill, the intoxicated, the drugged, the hypnotized cannot give true consent.
2. Defective knowledge. In order to give consent, the person must know the essentials-that marriage is a permanent union of a man and a woman for the purpose of procreating children. He must know that this requires bodily cooperation of husband and wife. After puberty, it is presumed that the person knows these basic facts. It is not necessary that he know all the biological mechanisms involved in the sex act, conception, pregnancy and birth.
3. Mistaken identity. If you “marry” one person but thought that you were marrying another (his twin, for example) there is no true consent.
4. Pretense. People who say “I will” while acting out a marriage on the stage or in a movie are, of course, not married. There is no intention of getting married and, hence, no true consent. But if a person is a bride or groom in a real wedding ceremony, his external consent by saying “I will” is taken as evidence of true internal consent. He would have great difficulty trying to prove later that he said “I will” but did not really mean it.
5. Force or fear. Canon Law is specific on this matter, saying that “invalid is a marriage entered into through force or grave fear unjustly inspired from without, such that in order to escape from it, a party is compelled to choose marriage. No other fear, even if it furnish the cause for the contract, entails the nullity of marriage” (Canon 1087).
6. Intention contrary to the essence of marriage. If one or both parties would deny that marriage really is a contract binding on both parties, or that marriage gives the right to sexual intercourse, the marriage would be invalid, because denial would indicate a failure to under stand what marriage really is. You certainly are not making a contract when you do not believe there is a contract. And you are not making a contract involving sexual intercourse as one of the things promised if you do not believe that sexual intercourse is one of the things promised. But, as we have defined, marriage is a contract involving promise of sexual intercourse.
A Christian marriage must overcome all of these obstacles or it will not be a marriage.

You might be dreaming of the perfect person to date, or thinking of a life partner. Christian dating services can help such Christian singles who want to meet their Christian mate online. And if you are searching for the best Christian dating services, either online or offline, then we are here with some very useful tips which may help you.
Many Christian personals and dating websites offer many services like email, instant messaging, discussion boards, and mingling areas, or you may just be searching for pen pals, seniors, or friends.
Always keep this in mind if you are searching for traditional religious Christian dating services or specialty agencies like Catholic, Chinese, Hispanic or teen dating services – these may be somewhat difficult to search; you are more likely to search for these dating services, agencies or networks in larger cities like New York City, Chicago, Los Angeles and Seattle. Once you have done your research locally, you can start researching free and paid Christian dating sites or matchmaking sites online. It is quite possible that a large general dating service may have more Christian members than a smaller Christian dating service.
Some of the online Christian Dating Services are run by both Christians and non Christians; this may or may not matter to you.  Christian dating services can help you find many different types of Christian singles such as Christian seniors, Christian single parents, and black single Christians. If you are an adolescent searching for single teens, a good number of dating services request that your age should not be less than 18 years old. There is a number of Christian dating services on the Internet having millions of users registered to them for you to find a perfect match.
When meeting a person through online dating, you always have to be very careful. Always meet your online date in a public place and make sure your nearest friend has knowledge about this meeting.  It is also a good idea to take a mobile phone. If you are unable to find a desirable Christian Dating Services then you must go through a reputable general dating service. There you can state that you are looking for a good Christian man, woman, or other specifics like racial, cultural group, orthodox, Catholic, etc.; most of the responsible members of these dating services are Christians.
If you apply yourself every day to this task at hand, you should be capable to line up the right dating possibilities fast. Whether you are searching for a more informal relationship, or something more serious, now is the time to initiate searching; check out some Christian dating websites today. Keep in mind that Christian dating services observe people through their websites and are more ready to lend a hand to single Christians in the long run.