Parenting and Family Education

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Now that ADHD behavioral therapy has finally become a hot topic in the ADHD jungle , let me share with you three of the most epic parenting tips ever. Before we get into that, I want to point out that one of leading researchers in this, Gregory Fabiano ,has been given the White House’s Presidential Early Career Award for Scientists and Engineers. His work clearly shows that ADHD behavioural therapy is just as effective as ADHD medication with drugs. When you get into ADHD behavioural therapy, you learn all sorts of parenting tips and strategies and you can start living again!

First Parenting Tip

Don’t be manipulated!. You know the scene. Either your kid throws a tantrum, sulks or whines to get what he wants. Once you give in here, it will be very difficult to get the situation under control again. Even very young kids between one to two years start experimenting and can see what works and if it works, they will keep at it and just turn up the volume in every sense of the word. So instead of engaging in a power struggle which can be exhausting, try pointing out a few home truths to your child. Explain what behaviour you want and whining or sulking is not going to work at all – ever. Stick to that and never give in because that is when the child will spot the weak link in your armour.

Second Parenting Tip

Any treat, present, money or computer time has to be earned and well in advance too. If you have a system of rewards and consequences this is quite easy to implement. Kids know by now what good behaviour is. Depending on your family situation, this can range from doing homework without an attitude, completing household jobs, punctuality at school and so on.

Third Parenting Tip

Use time-out. This has the effect of calming both parties down when there is conflict, argument or a downright refusal to do something. I know some parents who actually do the time-out themselves and just go to another room. Some parents prefer to make the child sit quietly and when they are calm, they can proceed. If you do not use time-out, the anger increases and this only prolongs the argument. If both parent and child are calm, then they have a better chance of reaching an agreement or getting through an explanation about what the bad behaviour is and what could be the consequences.

These are just the beginning in learning parenting skills or ADHD behavioural therapy. The sooner you learn these,the more successful you will be in remaining in control in your own home. These are the skills you can learn from ADHD behavioural therapy. No ADHD drugs can teach your child. Very soon, your child will be an adult and now is the time to give him or her a chance to develop as a responsible adult.

Some people believe that parenting skill is born along with a child – if only that were true! The thought that everything that happens to a baby or child will create the adults they become is daunting, and parents often don’t realise the extent of parenting skill they are going to require.

So what are the skills that parents need? Well, the most obvious skill is to know about the physical needs of your child. Most people get this right, but there are others with no parenting skill at all whose children become malnourished or sick from poor hygiene. If you need information on this there are plenty of organizations, books and websites that can help you.

Secondly, there is the parenting skill of providing the right amount of discipline for your child. Experts are divided on level and degree of discipline – but the key is consistency and agreement between parents. It is also important not to punish your child physically, and to try and make the punishment appropriate to the offence. For example if your child won’t stop playing his video game to do his chores, removal of the game would be a fair punishment and will teach him the relationship between actions and consequences. Setting clear boundaries for your child and making sure they understand what will happen if they step outside those boundaries is a vital parenting skill.

Thirdly, there is the skill of creating a morally good, complete human being. This is the hardest parenting skill of all because there are less hard facts, less evidence and less right and wrong answers. There are things that the experts agree on, however:

Showing your child love, approval and respect can give them the basis to do the same. Show interest in your child, listen to them, talk to them, and encourage them to share any problems with you. By not listening to a child you are telling them that it is OK to think only of themselves and not care about others. Give them behaviour to model. Children copy adults, by showing a good example to your children you are helping them. Be aware of what your children are doing. By letting them watch adult movies or play adult games you are saying that those things are OK. Let their activities be age appropriate. Spend time as a family. Whatever the make-up of your family, spend some time together, children who spend more time with siblings and parent(s) generally become more family minded themselves. It doesn’t have to be a big chore, family time once or twice a week where everyone does something together is a great start.

All parenting skills are important, and whatever you do with your children, the main things to ask yourself is, “Would I have wanted that to happen to me? Would it have done me good?” The important thing about parenting skill is that if you think you need help; ask for it. There are many organizations around that are set up purely for that purpose. If you are not happy asking for help then there are books and websites that can give you fantastic advice.