Parenting and Family Education

Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

Imaginative play is an important part of childhood. Not only is it fun for children but it is also an essential part of learning and developing. Children learn about themselves, about their world, and lay the groundwork for their future through imaginative play. Yet too many children are not encouraged to use their imagination through play. There are three essential ways you can encourage imaginative play in your child — by providing the place, the time, and the supplies.

Does your child have a place for imaginative play? Is there somewhere, even the corner of a room, where they can build a block city or shape play dough monsters? Can they assemble all their stuffed animals into a school or all their cars into a parade? While children should be encouraged to pick up after themselves sometimes it takes a while to build the city of their dreams and they want time to play with it again. Try to strike a balance between your need for order and their need for imaginative play. Give them a day or so to create a complex setting for their imaginative play before forcing them to put away their toys.

Does your child have the time for imaginative play? It is amazing how many young children have a very full schedule. While many of these activities are likely required, such as school or day care, and many are also desirable, such as sports or clubs, it is also important that children be given the opportunity for free, unstructured play that allows the opportunity for imaginative play. It is not desirable that every moment of every day be structured and planned. Children who are not given the opportunity to exercise their imagination run the risk of losing the ability to use it at all.

Does your child have the supplies for imaginative play? As we know from our own childhood that imaginative play does not require extensive and elaborate supplies, but children do need access to objects they can use. A complex wardrobe is not necessary but a few items can be helpful. A bath towel might be a king’s robe or a super hero’s cape or swaddling for a baby. A cardboard tube from wrapping paper might be a sword, the container for a secret map, or a spyglass. A cardboard box might be everything from a treasure chest to a race car. Provide a few basic supplies and try not to be too suggestive in their use. Children will do better if allowed to give their imagination free rein without your interference and control.

Imaginative play can be a wonderful opportunity for your child to not only enjoy their childhood but also to learn and grow as people by trying on different roles such as parents, cooks, police officers, and firefighters but also to experience safe adventures as pirates, explorers and paleontologists. Imaginative play should be encouraged in children by allowing them the place, the time, and the supplies for imaginative play.

The art of parenting has evolved over the years to the point where there are now no set styles which new parents need to adopt. However, this doesn’t stop the continued debate about which parenting style is ‘right’ for children. Is it necessary to be a firm disciplinarian in order to teach your children respect? Or is a more cooperative style that allows children to develop their own inner discipline the better way to go? Or perhaps a more permissive style is better to allow children to be free spirits before the harsh realities of life descend as they hit adulthood? This debate raises other questions like whether a parent should be a friend or a distant disciplinarian? Is there such a thing as middle ground as a friendly disciplinarian?

If you are grappling with working out the best parenting style then its time to take a deep breathe and relax. There is no ideal parenting style, there is only the parenting style that works for you and your family. That’s because you can’t decide when you are pregnant which parenting style you will adopt and then rigidly stick to it throughout your child’s life. Well, you can try doing that. But your child will test you in ways that you can’t even imagine and so a hard and fast rule maybe quickly discarded because its inadequate from the circumstances you find yourself in.

The main principle of any parenting style should be about making sure that your child know from the first day of life that they have your unconditional love. Beyond that the other building blocks for your life together will gradually take shape as your child grows up and as you grow with them. You will, however, have to work at finding a consistent parenting style that sets limits for your offspring while still responding with flexibility.

In the first days, months and even years of your child’s life you will be discovering both your and your child’s strengths and weaknesses. You will also learn what you can tolerate and what you can’t (and the things that you can’t accept may not be what you thought they would be). Many parents expect themselves to be able to satisfy all their child’s needs. However, this isn’t realistic and no parent can be everything to a child nor should a parent be a child’s total world. Children mature by gradually expanding beyond the boundaries their parents place around them for their protection. It is the parent’s responsibility to set these boundaries and then be wise enough to move them as the child grows up.

Beside love, limits and flexibility another hallmark of an effective parenting style is communication. No parent child relationship will exist without stress, strain and at times arguments and pain. If a parent endeavors to establish strong open lines of communication from the very first days of the parent child dynamic then their relationship will survive the difficult days which accompany any child’s growth into adulthood.

That communication may not always be sitting down and discussing life as this is often too intense for a child. Some parents find a common interest can provide a safe haven for getting along when times get rough. Other times it may just be making time for each other one on one. Something as simple as sharing a meal in a favorite restaurant or making time to read together can create that all important conduit for communication.

Whatever style of parenting you adopt, you would be wise to remember the one basic rule: Treat your child with the same love and respect with that you would like for yourself. Often the best way to teach is by modelling the behavior yourself.

No parent is an island.

This statement is true of parents who think of themselves as isolated parents from the rest of the society. Parenthood is already difficult enough not to be shared. More often than not, experiences and other people’s experiences are the best teachers.

Parenting advice is not something parents should dread about. When someone gives you parenting advice, it does not mean that you are the worst parent in the neighborhood. It is either that parent wants to share how he/ she raised his/ her kids or he/ she only wants to encourage you.

In the realm of parenting, no one can understand you better than other parents like you. They exactly know how parenting feels. Parents share the same emotions when their children gets high grades in class or if their children are hurt or bullied by a classmate. Parents also share the same frustrations over difficult children. You see, parenting in itself is also a community.

One important parenting advice is to learn to accept advices. This does not mean that you will absorb and do everything that everyone tells you. Hear everyone but select people who have wisdom to be listened to. Find a parent with the same situation and experiences that you have. Of course, there are no exact circumstances. This means that find a parent who has children with the same age as your children.

In addition, another valuable parenting advice is to listen to your children. Do not shun them away just because you are the parent and are in the authority. Your children are your mirrors as a parent. They emulate you, they run to you, they shun you away, etc. All of these are children’s reactions on how you raise them up. Listen to things that they say because if you do not listen to them, they will look for someone else that will listen to them. This is when they feel that the home is not a place where they can be themselves. Be careful when you get too busy and tight with your work thus ignoring what your children tell you.

Another parenting advice is that you are the parent and no one can take that away from you. This gives the challenge to you: you do not need to prove that you are in the actual authority- you have to practice it. This does not mean however that your children are not allowed to give their piece on something. No. This is just a reminder that no one can be the best parent to your children other than you.

Lastly, one of the most treasured parenting advices is that, good parents give the best of their time to their kids. When you become a parent, your world will revolve around your family- even if you have work outside the home. The important thing to remember is that giving and spending quality time with your kids is still the best expression of love that you can show them. All the time, they need your quality presence more than the gifts and material things that you shower them.