Parenting and Family Education

Posts Tagged ‘Pattern’

The life of a parent undergoes a dramatic change with the birth of a child and it requires that he or she need to make certain decisions like choosing between bottle or breast, carriage or stroller, continuing work or staying home, employing a nanny or opting for day care.

With children growing up, these decisions continue to change and parents need to decide on the school the child must attend, their meals, allowances, after-school activities and more. All these decisions are dependent on the parenting style and attitude which will influence how the child is taught and learns to socialize.

A Complicated Matter with No Easy Answers

Parenting is a complicated matter with no easy answers available, and many different interactions concerning certain actions and attitudes on the part of parents need to be put together which will affect the development of the child. Such a broad overall pattern of parental actions are termed as a parenting style; not a single act.

Parenting styles may differ and they were best described by Diana Baumrind as well as other researchers in child development. They sought out qualities in children that were most desirable such as innocence, maturity, independence, self-reliance, curiosity, self-control, friendliness as well as achievement orientation and they further quizzed parents to ascertain which elements of parenting nurtured such qualities, and then came up with two factors, which are responsiveness or warmth as well as supportiveness, and demandingness or control of the child’s behavior.

The four major parenting styles they found were authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved. After further research, they came to conclude that the best adjusted children, especially when it came to social competence, were children of parents that belonged to an authoritative, moderate parenting style. Such parents were able to balance high demands with emotional responsiveness as well as respect for the autonomy of their children.

In contrast, parents that are too strict expect their children to accept parental judgments without argument and do not allow much freedom to the child. Children under such parenting style influences will be reliant on authority and will not be able to show much spontaneity. Authoritative parents, in sharp contrast, allow their children freedom of expression and encourage a sense of independence in their children.

Parenting style can influence the child and it has been found that children of authoritarian mothers were five times more likely to be overweight as compared to authoritative mothers, while children of permissive or uninvolved parents were three times more at risk.

As good mothers and fathers, we all differ in many ways. We all have various interests, strengths and values which make us good parents. Advice from other parents should be taken with “a pinch of salt”, as they may not live up to your expectations; don’t be disappointed or discouraged if others try to put you right. You may not be one for getting down to child’s level by rolling around on the floor with your child; you prefer to let your child explore and find things out on their own, and that’s your prerogative. Whatever suits you and your child is a good enough method, and no one should be able to tell you otherwise! Recognise your own personal parenting style and embrace it, as it is your business how you go about things as a parent; it’s your expectations that matter to help you enjoy parenting.

Keep in mind that others may give you advice and mean well, but at the end of the day, you know your child better. You see how your child is day and night, as he eats, sleeps, grow, explores, learns and plays. You will soon know what works best for your child, the lifestyle that you have and what is better all round for your household. It all involves trial and error, just like anything else in life that is new.

People will always offer the advice on what you should do, especially regarding your child’s napping and their sleeping habits at bedtime, so remember that yours and your child’s personal style matters the most. You have already covered what works best for you and your child, and what doesn’t so you should continue with that pattern. Sleep habits vary from one child to another, so there are no rules to follow except, knowing that your child needs their sleep! Your child’s sleeping pattern will change as he gets older, so you can adapt to suit him. By keeping in tune with your child, their sleeping habits shouldn’t become a problem, or for you!