Parenting and Family Education

Posts Tagged ‘Single’

Before you know it, the “Holiday Season” is here and during this all important season, you can become “Parent of the Year.”   As a single parent how are you preparing for this important season. Some of you look back with an almost child like happiness enjoying the season as much if not more than your kids. A season where the kids get to have both parents for the day.

Having both Parents for the day is the perfect day for the kids.  Yes, this might work in the early stages of your divorce, but will it still be the same way a few years later?

What happens when you and your Ex are both in a serious relationship.  Do you tell the man/woman of your dreams that you can’t make Thanksgiving because you have to spend it with the kids and the Ex.  After all, isn’t everything you do for the kids? This might cause your new and serious relationship to take a turn in the wrong direction.

On the other hand, if every holiday is considered “Family Day” and all of a sudden there’s a change in the game, you will break the hearts of your children.  Not too mention it could cause immense psychological problems changing things.

How do you handle the Holidays now that the divorce is final and become “Parent of the Year?”

As a single parent, you can save a lot of heart ache and disappointment if you think of the holiday as “A Day” instead of “The Day.”

For instance, if your Ex has the children for Thanksgiving, take another day with your children and make a Turkey dinner together, and the fun part, it takes all day. And, it can be any day, like the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  Let the kids make the mashed potatoes and you will really appreciate just how great they taste even if they are lumpy.  What you are doing is making a day a family day. For me — it’s my single Parent family.

The next big holiday, of course, is Christmas. Do you want to be “Parent of the Year?”

Here is an amazing tip to be “Parent of the Year.” Just let the Ex have the children on Christmas.  Then, listen to what they got and ask them what they really wanted to get but didn’t get. Go out on December 26th when those fabulous sales start and everything is reduced 50% and get the gifts they really wanted but didn’t get.  If you’re on good terms with the Ex, do it together and save on those discounted gifts.

Now, when you think about dating, it creates a picture of just two people in your mind. Next, add some children in that picture. What did you get? No. It’s not a family. This picture might point to a very new concept in the world of parenthood known as ‘Single Parents’. All this time, you had been thinking of a perfect rendezvous with your beloved but knowing that you are dating or going to approach a single parent might make you shaky at the knees. In such circumstances, it is simple to follow some tips and advices. Discover the magic moves:
Some Tips and Advices:
•    If you are a woman dating a single father then keep these things in mind. He is a man; a working professional plus a mother at home too, so do not be impeccable about the cleanliness of the house. Commenting about it, might appear harsh.
•    Respect the decision of the person to be a single parent. Avoid asking the cause for it. At the same time do not say something which might make him/her feel that you are finding their fault.
•    As single parents they are very fond of their children as well as protective of them. Do not show your averseness in accepting their children in your life. Also do not comment anything on their upbringing of the children.
•    While striking up a conversation, ask her about how her children. Show genuine interest so that she can feel your concern.
•    Being a single parent leads him/her to face tough situations too. He/she might be emotionally shaken. Be his/her strength. Show your care and love to heal his/her wounds. Do not try to be sympathetic and never overdo it.
•    Remember that he/she needs a companion who can give him/her support. Don’t be bossy. Spend time with him/her, share his/her pain and joy. Listen to him/her and be communicative.
•    Since he/she is a single parent, keep in mind that they are confident individuals. Do not try to be over possessive. Respect his/her freedom.
•    Spend time with her children as this can lead to a strong bonding between you two also.
•    Don’t lose your patience. A relationship with a single parent can be demanding so be generous with your time.
•    Never speak ill about his/her ex partner before his/her children or him/her. He/she expects you to be different from the person who is already gone. Saying something behind their back will only bring out your negative side. To be his/her future, the past needs to be ignored.

If you are dating a single parent, picture yourself in the family before you start dating. After all you are certainly the new inclusion if you are determined to take it till marriage. Be confident and make things comfortable. Mix up well with the children and get to know them well. Just remember, with love and care you can win a million hearts with no extra effort.

As a single parent, a first date with someone new can be exciting and frightening. You want to create a good impression, get to know the other person, and hopefully have a good time. Use the following tips to help make that first date go as well as possible.

1. Do not be late. Make sure that your arrangements for your kids are air-tight. Allow plenty of time to get to your destination. Being late for a first date can make the person think that you’ve stood him or her up, and probably won’t get you a second date no matter how good your excuse.

2. Do pay attention to your date’s behavior. Is he or she ogling you or worse, the person next to you? Does he or she treat the waitress rudely? Do you feel comfortable around him or her? A person’s words may be saying one thing, but behavior is often the best gauge of a person’s true character.

3. Keep your attitude positive. Look for things that you can compliment such as your date’s clothing or the fun that you are having with him or her. If you can find nothing to compliment, then don’t be fake; however, this is a good sign that you don’t need a second outing with him or her. Don’t complain about what’s wrong in your life such as your financial woes or kid problems.

4. Do not discuss your kids all night. Your date wants to get to know you, not your children, at least not yet. While you may find the subject fascinating, he will probably just be bored.

5. Be yourself with your date. While it is natural to want to impress your date, you do not want to mispresent yourself as this will come back to haunt you later.

6. Do not appear needy. Single parents often have a laundry list of things that need repair, kids that need rides, housework to be done, etc. Don’t give the impression that you are dating to find someone to help out at home.

7. Thank your date, even if you are not interested in seeing him or her again. If you did enjoy the date, be sure to mention it.

By following these single parent dating tips, you will be a good date for others and have the best chance of meeting that special someone.