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Principles of Parenting-Top 10 Tips that Work
Successful children are the products of coordinated efforts of parents who knew about the correlation of good parenting style with successful evolution of children from infanthood to responsible adulthood. The following are some of the time honoured principles for raising children:
Children need love much the same way they need oxygen to survive. Your love for your child is expressed in providing appropriate food, clothing, shelter, emotional warmth and protection from every sort of harm. In the absence of love, children wilt, are unable to show love as they grow and turn out to be affectionless children with a poor sense of self-worth. The goal of Christian parenting is to bring up children in the fear and knowledge of God. Parents are in the best position to introduce their children to God because children can only relate to God, the way they relate to their parents. When children are taught and made to be obedient to God, they find it easy to understand and relate to God. God has no grand children; every child must come personally to the knowledge of God as a father, parents should facilitate this encounter. Every child is limited in life by the principles upon which he/she was raised in life. Children need instructions appropriate for their developmental stage. They should be introduced to the rules of behaviour early in life and taught what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. Rules create boundaries for children and put in them the notion that actions have consequences. Every action of parents has repercussions; they are either building up the child or pulling the child down. Parents must walk the way they want their children to follow. Values are more readily caught by children than taught. When you explain to your children why you are taking a particular action, it makes more sense and it is less abstract than just teaching a child without any illustration. Every child is a complex being that unravels with time; take time to know your child. Every child has an internal world comprising emotion, intelligence and spirit. Knowledge of the special needs of each child enables you to raise the child in a way that will bring out the best in each child. Each child has negative and positive tendencies, encourage the positive tendencies while discouraging the negative tendencies. You cannot beat out of your child, what is wrong in your life. Some parents see their faults or character defects in their children and attempt to prevent history from repeating itself by disciplining their child excessively. Excess discipline or wrong disciplinary measures that break the spirit of the child is counter productive and tantamount to physical abuse. The discipline a child gets when he/she errs should be timely, appropriate for the age, and corrective in nature. Discipline should as much as possible be a learning experience for the child. What you put in a child by way of parenting is what the child gives to society. Your child will ultimately reveal to the world what you put in him/her by way of training in the secrecy of your home. Children reflect the training they got from home the way light is reflected by a mirror. Take time to build in your children timeless values that will make your children shine in life.
8. Children live up to their parents’ expectation. Children form their opinion of themselves from what their parents say to them. If you believe in them, they work hard to live up to what you believe about them. A 3-year study of 20,000 California and Wisconsin High School Students published in Beyond the Classroom by Dr Laurence Steinberg found a strong correlation between parents’ expectation and general level of student achievement with a few exceptions. African-American and Latino parents are satisfied with any grades above D and their wards get mostly Cs. White parents are satisfied with grades above C and their children get mostly Bs. Asian parents accept A and their children bring mostly As.”
9. Children reward dutiful parents when they are old. At the time children realize the value of what their parents put in them by way of training, they would have already started raising their family and with the benefit of hindsight, would want to show appreciation to their parents by caring for them in their old age.
10. To invest time, money and energy in training your child is to train many generations. This is because children will teach their own children what they were taught. A child gives only what he/she has to his/her children.